Thou Shall Not Covet Thy Neighbors Wife….But Can I Have Sex With Her?

Swinging and the churchThere is a fantastic discussion regarding the lifestyle happening between a sociology student and a great group of lifestyler’s at the Swingercast.com fourms.

In the thread I was asked this question.

“Why do you think that the general public is so opposed to the swinger lifestyle?”

As I was typing my response, I remembered a poll I had recently seen at Askdanandjennifer.com.  Here are the latest results of that poll as well as my response to that question.

OK, I ask forgiveness before opening my mouth……but here goes (These are after all, just my absolutely idiotic opinions)

I don’t really feel that the general public is so oppossed.  In all issues where there is some perceived moral high ground the loudest voice heaving the largest consequences is usually perceived to be the majority opinion.  By “issues involving moral high ground”, I am specifically referring to issues that stand in contrast of the dogma of the church.  And by church I mean those of origins traced back to the original Roman Catholic chuch.

The simple answer is the perception of the general publics opposition is a direct result of the church’s opposition to non-monogamy.  The same as the perceived historical general public’s opposition was to issues such as divorce, abortion, women’s liberation, gay marriage, and Harry Potter…(ok little bit of levity with the Harry Potter) 

Not only was there general resistance in the acceptance and ongoing acceptance of all of these issues, but there has always been consequences for those who crossed these “moral” codes.  These consequences, in my (keep in mind I am a dumb ass) opinion, serve to keep any who may have opinions contrary to the church silent unless

  • A)  They are directly affected 
  • B)  They feel strong enough about these freedoms to speak up. 

Therefore the “general puplic opinion” is skewed.

Here is an interesting poll for you to consider. 

This poll is a current an ongoing poll at AskDanandJennifer.com.  A website about Sex and Relationships.  This website is not a swinger or lifestyle site, but merely a sexual advice site.  The vast majority of their viewers are not Swingers, but the results of this poll may surprise you.

When asked “Would You Ever Consider Swinging or Polyamory?”

  • Certainly, love the lifestyle 29% (1648 votes)
  • I don’t have a problem with it, but it’s not for me 10% (550 votes)
  • Maybe, with the right group of friends 37% (2120 votes)
  • No way, monogomy is the only way to go 14% (772 votes)
  • You’re all going to burn in hell for even thinking about it 10% (576 votes)

Total Votes: 5666

Total Votes= 5666 votes
Total Votes directly opposed to Swinging or Polyamory = 1348 votes

Less than 1 out of 4 voters are oppossed to swinging. 

Out of those 5 groups of people which are going to present their argument the loudest?  Which groups have anything to lose in their personal lives from presenting that argument?

I freely admit that any website that promotes healthy sex is not going to be frequented as much by the religious groups, therefore the opposition’s number will be skewed somewhat in favor of swinging. 

The point is when you ask a group of people that practice, enjoy, and want to improve sex their opinions on the lifestyle, and you do it in an anonymous format you probably get a much better picture of the true “general publics” opinion than what we normally see presented by the media, government, and……the church!

Sorry if I offended anyone, but that is my little opinion!

~Mr. Texasfun  (aka Mr. Gentlenibbles)

I am curious what other peoples opinions on this are?

The thread for that discussion can be found here
(You will have to register for an free account, and they require you have 2 posts before you can view the whole forums.  This link will work after you have posted and they have unlocked your profile…sorry)

Take care,
~Mr. Gentlenibbles

Comments

4 Responses to “Thou Shall Not Covet Thy Neighbors Wife….But Can I Have Sex With Her?”
  1. Hey guys,

    Just a little background on the survey… Many the answers to this survey actually came from readers of mainstream sites like Netscape.com and others when our survey was published there. Unlike Digg (which is a very, very techie focused audience), Netscape.com pretty much a regular cross-section of the population.

    The “general public” in question either 1. hasn’t really heard much of anything about it or 2. has been conditioned that sex with anyone other than their spouse is “cheating” – nevermind that if you both broaden your sexual experiences together there’s no “breaking of trust”, so no “cheating” is possible.

    Of course various polls have shown what we’ve all known for a long time – that MOST men have secret (or not so secret) fantasies about seeing their spouse with another woman, i.e. “a threesome”.

    What most of these men don’t realize is that they’re a lot more likely to get their spouse to agree to another couple than to a single girl, for many, many reasons.

    So societally it’s not so foreign a concept per-se, but popular culture is still being driven by a fair amount of judgmentalism and religious zealotry… so the connections aren’t quite there yet.

    Came across a great quote recently, not sure from where… something to the effect of: “society will more readily accept someone cheating on their spouse than a couple having an open relationship with another couple”. Amazing what happens when we pre-judge and don’t think for ourselves, isn’t it. :-)

    Have an awesome day!
    Dan & Jennifer

  2. Mr. GentleNibbles says:

    Thanks Dan and Jennifer!

    We love your site and appreciate the added insight to your survey.

    And of course we totaly agree with you thoughts and love the quote!

    Mr. and Mrs. Gentlenibbles

  3. MBnVT says:

    Mr. Gentlenibbles,

    You are certainly not a dumb ass and your opinions are certainly no more idiotic then my own. I agree with everything you said here.

    I am not a swinger per se but I am certainly not against the lifestyle or those who enjoy it.

    Keep up the GREAT work. I Love the site

    ~MB

  4. Wow Mr. B,

    Thanks so much for the compliments on the site, we are really glad you like it!

    It is refreshing to see many people out there, even not in the lifestyle, don’t have opinions so different than ours!

    Have a great day!
    Mr. Gentlenibbles

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