Holy Crap… Look At All the Puppies!

Last week we wrote a post entitled Holy Crap… We Spotted a Unicorn!.  This post talked about the unique situation of single females in the Lifestyle and their status as near royalty due to their elusiveness. 

This post, on the other hand, is going to look at the situation of single males in the Lifestyle.  Let me begin by saying this is not going to be a post bashing single males, as that is a pretty prevalent hobby among Lifestyler’s.  We are going to try and give new swingers or those interested in swinging a little insight into the phenomenon of single males.

There is definitely a place for single males in the Lifestyle, as many couples have fantasies involving another man and some even a group of men.  These fantasies may involve men of all different races, sizes, and ages giving reason for all types to be involved.  If you are a single male interested in the Lifestyle, that is the good news.  The rest of this post, which is much longer focuses on the bad news.

There are several specific reasons it is tough to be a single male in the Lifestyle.

One
To begin with in our post about single females, we discussed how the majority of all couples in the Lifestyle were actively seeking a single female to play with and how few single females there where to go around.  With single males, the opposite condition exists.  On any given swinger personals website there are almost as many single males as there are couples, and of those couples only a few percent of them are actively looking for single males.  This overabundance with low demand really pushes the statistics in a bad direction for all the hopeful single males out there.

Two
There is no application to be a single male in the Lifestyle, meaning any perverted jackass can sign up and do his best to ruin the reputation of all single males in the Lifestyle.  There are some great single males out there that we have met, many of them great guys, with great personalities, and I am sure great talents.  The problem is they are lumped into the same category with all the other penis only carrying members of the swingers food chain, thus usually have to put up with a lot of the ridicule and rudeness the bad apples inspire.

Three
Because picking a single male for couples is like picking a needle from a big bowl of needles, many single males get pretty aggressive on the dating sites with emails, chats, pictures, etc. to try and stand out from the crowd.  Of course this behavior for the most part only lands them blocked from many peoples accounts and overall adds to the negative images discussed above.  You then fall into the quandary of standout as a jackass or be the nice guy who nobody ever notices.

As a new single male or gentleman considering this path, reading the above will probably make you think a little bit about what you are getting yourself into.  If “Swinging” is just a scheme to get laid, let me tell you there are much easier ways to get laid that will probably leave fewer bruises than the swinging single male route. 

Although if you are a single male, and the atmosphere of the Lifestyle is what drives you down this path, here are some helpful tips you may want to consider.

Always, Always, Always be the nice guy.  It may take a nice guy a lot longer to be noticed so that he can be invited, but he is much more likely to be invited back.  Nearly all the single males that we have met that could be considered swinging “successfully” are genuinely nice guys.  Most of the couples they hang out with, they met through other couples not through emails stating, “I got eight inches, want to f*ck”

As a single male, your profile and your pics are pretty important.  Make sure the pics are good quality, you look good in them, and most of all that they accurately represent you.  Your profile should be genuine, well written, and tell a little bit about why you are in the Lifestyle.  Couples are super selective with single guys (because they can be), and are pretty quick to weed out the weird, the shady, and any one who raises a question mark.

Quit trying to get laid!  If the atmosphere of the Lifestyle is while you are in it, then just enjoy it without expecting anything.  Just make friends and have a good time being yourself in the chat rooms, at the meet and greets, and wherever else you find yourself.  Once people like you, you would be surprised how much better your chances become. 

Keep in mind, neither Mrs. Gentlenibbles or myself have ever been a single male in the Lifestyle, nor have we ever played with one thus our advice should be taken as such.  We would be interested to hear from some of our readers who are single males on their experiences and what advice they may have for others in the Lifestyle.

~Mr. and Mrs. Gentlenibbles

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