Your Evolution as a Swinger

Since joining the lifestyle a little over a year ago, we have met a lot of great people, had some amazing experiences and attended some crazy, fun parties!! 

Just like everything else in life, swinging has phases and as we encounter more experiences, we change also.  I guess we can call it the evolution of swinging!

When couples first enter the lifestyle, most are not too sure of what to expect. . . many couples experience something that sparks the curiosity before they actually enter the lifestyle.  There’s got to be a reason for searching out other sex-crazed people like yourself!  For us, it was a hot tub party and strip poker with completely vanilla friends. (Here is more on that story)  We discovered that we liked the added touch of open sexuality with friends.  It made the party that much more fun.  Mr. G had always been more sexually open than I have as I was raised in a very religious setting, so it has taken me some time to catch up!  For other couples, maybe one spouse or the other has had some previous experiences they enjoyed and once their relationship starts to mature, they open up to the other spouse and introduce the lifestyle.

So, once you’re hooked. . .there’s clubbing, house parties, dates, exclusive relationships, or just the fun occasional parties. 

Many couples start with clubbing, as we did.  It is an easier method of meeting a lot of people if you are new to the lifestyle. . .that is, if you made that initial move from the parking lot into the club!!  The clubs are fun and offer great theme parties to help you get in the spirit of whatever the occasion.  The atmosphere is energetic, sexual and flirty.  Plus, there is less pressure.  You can leave if you feel uncomfortable and you can go home and have great sex with your own partner!

House parties are a lot of fun!  The type of party really depends on the crowd, whether is it a small group or a party that was listed on a lifestyle web site and everyone and their neighbor is coming!  There is nothing wrong with either one; it just depends on what you are looking for.  Small intimate parties are easier to get to know people, while larger parties tend to loose their intimacy and they turn more into social hours, rather than carrying out those swinger fantasies!

From there, we experienced some “dating” encounters where we met another couple for dinner with the understanding of no expectations.  For the most part, these were good experiences.  You really have to be strong in your stance of the “no expectations” if there is no attraction.  Some people get sucked into feeling like they owe the other couple for meeting them and having dinner and feel guilty for not following up.  This should never be the case.  If both people are not attracted to the other couple, don’t commit to anything.  It’s only dinner!  We have a rule that we don’t do anything on the first date, but if we both agree we will make exceptions!!  It is a good rule to have in your back pocket!!

We have not had the experience of an exclusive relationship; it is not what we are looking for, but many people enjoy this aspect of swinging. 

We really enjoy the all out fun, occasional parties.  We try to make as many of them as we can, but with family, sometimes that is difficult.  We definitely enjoy any time we get away from the house and everyday reality!! 

We have matured a lot as a couple and have become a lot closer. We are definitely more secure in our swinging status.  We learned from a few mistakes and won’t make the same ones again, hopefully!  We forgive each other, chalk it up to experience and move on.  The lifestyle is an added bonus in a successful marriage, not the foundation on which it is built.  So, don’t take things too personal as a couple, and be open and communicate with each other.  

Lately, we have been in a bit of a lull, but the kiddos are going out of town soon for a couple of weeks, and we are looking forward to living la vita loca swinger style!  The finale of our summer escapade will be in Florida with Swingfest 2008!

Sometimes reality gets in the way, but hang in there and enjoy the phases and changes of your ever-maturing swinging life!

Let us know of any evolutionary changes you have experienced since being in the lifestyle!

Sincerely,
Mrs. Gentlenibbles