What if We Are Not That Sexy? - Swinger Says What?

This “Swinger Says What?” post comes to us from an Arizona couple and their question is regarding looks and the Lifestyle.  They sent us this email a couple of weeks ago.

Mr. and Mrs. Gentlenibbles,

Let us begin by saying “THANKS”. As very new swingers, your website has been helpful to us in providing answers to many questions.  

We are writing this letter to ask you a question for one of your “Swinger Say’s What?” posts.  Your thoughts and opinions on this would be appreciated.

Our question is this, “What is it like for average or even less than average looking couples when trying to find a couple to play with?”  We don’t consider ourselves ugly, but when looking at some of the profiles on SDC we realize we are not as attractive as many of the couples.

We are pretty comfortable with our bodies and appearance, but that does not mean we will enjoy being rejected over and over.  Are we wasting our time, or worse setting ourselves up for disappointment?

Thanks,

BJ and Marie
Arizona

Thanks BJ and Marie for your email and your question.  It is a great topic for a “Swinger Say’s What?” post, because it is an incredibly common question asked by almost every couple that enters the Lifestyle.  For most of us, human nature never allows us to give ourselves enough credit.  This causes many couples to have this fear of “What if nobody wants to be with us?

Well, we have very good news!  To begin let me make an assumption.  You two are attracted to each other!  If you two are attracted to each other, you can bet there are plenty of other people out there who will agree with you. 

The Lifestyle is full of sexy people of every type, age, race, size, height, and feature, and better yet, it is full of people attracted to all of those types of people as well! 

In your email you make the statement:

“We are pretty comfortable with our bodies and appearance”

Then you have found the secret of successful swinging couples all over the attractometer!  No matter what you look like, if you are comfortable with it you are way ahead of the game.  In our previous post, Personality - The Swinging “It” Factor, we discussed how much personality and attitude play a role in chemistry between couples.  The key to a great personality and attitude is self confidence! 

So for all of you hotties out there in swinging world that are a little worried about how the extra few pounds, wrinkles, stretch marks, or that unsightly third eye may affect your enjoyment of the Lifestyle, quit worrying.  The only improvements you need to worry about, are any that you need to do to:

Make yourself as sexy as you need to make yourself to make yourself comfortable with yourself!

Once you have that figured out, you will not have any trouble finding other couples who think you are just as sexy!

In summary.  Will you find some couples that will choose not to play with you?  Most definitely!  Just like every other swinger couple out there has been given a pleasant “No thank you” before, you will as well.  On the other hand, I can assure you that there will be times you will be the ones issuing the gentle rejection.  Rejection is part of the swinging process, but it was when you two were dating as well and it sure sounds like that turned out alright for you guys! :) 

Take care!  Good Luck and let us know how it goes!
Mr. and Mrs. Gentlenibbles

If you are reading this and have a question you would like to ask Mrs. G or myself about the Lifestyle, send us an email to thenibblers@gentlenibbles.com.  Also if you have not yet signed up for our $100 Gift Certificate giveaway click here!