Willy Wonka’s Advice for Swingers

As a child I remember reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Ronald Dahl.  The book that inspired the two movies starring Gene Wilder, and now Johnny Depp.   Even as a young child, I recall being able to plainly grasp one of the underlying central themes of the novel.  That theme being, “Too much of a good thing can be bad!”

Chocolate is good…
Chocolate castles, rivers, etc…

Now you have potential for trouble!  So what does this have to do with Swinging?  Other than the fact “Willy Wonka” kind of sounds like a sexual term, It is a really good idea for couples to periodically step back from all the fun and excitement they are having in the Lifestyle and take some time to rest, relax, and ensure both husband and wife are on the same page!

Swinging is somewhat of a whirlwind phenomenon!  Most couples, when first entering the Lifestyle, find themselves pretty obsessed with it for awhile.  I know Mrs. G and myself went out any night we could get away, constantly checked our CouplesTouch account, Yahoo’d with new friends, and much more.  This is not a bad thing at all!  It was a fantastic time in our marriage, as all of this had us opening up to each other more and more.  We were having the time of our lives! 

Occasionally though, it is good to step back for a little while for a couple of reasons.

First, it allows you to ensure that the focus is still a “us” and not an “I” inclination.  Time and experiences can sometimes change opinions and desires for one or both of you.  Have a very honest heart to heart discussion on how you are feeling about your adventures.  What do you like?  What do you dislike?  Is there some behavior or action you wish your spouse would not do in swinging situations?  Is there a behavior or action you wish they would do?  How do you feel about your current boundaries, rules, and partners?  Should you change any of them? 

These are all the questions you asked each other over and over at the start of your swinging journey.  Now you have much more information to better answer those questions, so take some time to revisit them.

Also, take a couple of romantic weekends, or plan a few date nights to get away from the kids and talk about everything else that makes your relationship special!  You were such a sexy and fantastic couple before you started swinging, make sure you don’t forget that!!!   

The second thing a small hiatus provides is intensity.  Believe it or not, but when you are constantly surrounded by a sexually stimulating environment you can become somewhat dulled to it’s effect.  I will never forget after entering the Lifestyle, the first woman to undress in front of me!  I could barely contain myself and had a smile from ear to ear!  On the contrary though, as recently as a couple of weeks ago, I am not sure quite who the last woman I saw naked was!  Not that the first woman was any more special than the last.  I was different, it was all new and exciting.

Time away will probably never make it as exciting as the first time, but it definitely can bring back those butterflies you loved!   

So listen to the great Willy Wonka’s advice and every now and then, as a couple, step back and take a deep breath!  Yes, you may miss a great party or lose your chance with that really hot couple, but you get a few weekends to spend with the most important person in the world!  Your spouse! 

“Swing long and prosper….”

~Mr. Gentlenibbles

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