If They Only Knew

Yesterday Mrs. Cardz and I were walking through the supermarket, replenishing our refrigerator after a long weekend of vanilla partying, and discussing the festivities.  Very quickly we both realized that, although the parties were held at our home and with people we had known almost our entire lives, we felt like outsiders.

It is one thing to say we are still young and impressionable it is another to say our mindsets have just evolved, maybe even matured over the past 14 months.  Both of us without knowing what the other was thinking spent 3 days listening to conversations that seemed trivial to us and having conversations with people that we didn’t feel as connected to as we used to.  Connections that we found flourish on their own with other like-minded people.

One particular conversation I remember was between 5 guys standing around throwing horseshoes.  The guys were talking about their sexual histories and ribbing one another for lying or exaggerating. (Some of those tales were obviously false.)  A conversation that, when I was forced to partake in, found me lying to some of my best friends and exiting as quickly as possible.

These were guys who dream of having threesomes or going to orgies but if I ever told them about my wife’s bisexuality, our trip to Desire, or our SDC or SexxyMofo accounts they would freak out and probably never talk to us again.  We love our friends and don’t want to hurt the relationship we’ve built so we like many swingers, we keep secrets.

It’s tough, not just to keep your stories straight but, to keep your tongue still.  When your stereotypical homophobic friends are making gay jokes at your expense, it’s tough not to laugh and point out that the three girls you went down on last week didn’t think you were gay. But we keep our cool, we hold our tongues, we keep our secret, or we tell that lie.  Some of us do it out of respect for our spouse and our fiends, some of us do it because we like secrets, and some of us may even feel we’re better then vanillas.  Whatever your reason we want you to know that you are not alone.  Most if not all of us swingers have had to walk the rocky path of the double life.

Our advice is simple and as always is Communication.  Get your stories straight between you and your partner.  Misaligned stories are the first thing that people will question.  Also keep constant feedback between the two of you. If you think someone is digging for information let your partner know immediately so they don’t say something that may fuel your would be detective.

And Finally don’t be baited by braggers, insulters, or investigators.  If you need to let off steam find another non-vanilla, join a chat room or forum, or email us.  We’ll be glad to talk to you and let you know that there is a reason we are forced to bite our tongues and just smile.   Because the rewards are worth it.

Remember:  “With Great Sex cums Great responsibility” or something like that.

The Mr. of the Wildcardz
“Leading a double life
Friends in the daytime, strangers at night
Leading a double life
Can it be wrong when you know that it’s right?”
~Double Life by STYX