How to Butcher a Relationship
(photo courtesy of PETA – It just really seemed appropriate for an article on a swingers site entitled “How to Butcher a Releationship”)
(This is the latest post from our sexy friends “The Wildcardz“)
Here in the twenty first century we humans have become accustomed to many of the amenities that technology has afforded us. The greatest of which is arguably the internet (and oreo cookies). The internet is a fantastic invention that has helped us bridge gaps between countries, open businesses of all types to new potential product markets, and has probably done more for the swinging community then hot tub and strap-on combined.
Consider this how many of you would not be part of the swinger lifestyle if it weren’t for a sexy podcast, or an informative blog, or even an extensive online dating site? It is because of open and knowledgeable people like our sexy “nibbling” hosts that the internet has been such a useful tool. However, (C’mon you knew there had to be a downside to this story) it can be said the internet has had some negative consequences on swinging as well. It is because of this expanding community and quasi-anonymous meeting environment that we have found many people can come across as shallow or even ignorant.
Our expectations were that swingers were open-minded people who looked for connections beyond that of physical attraction and we have found that to be the case in those swingers that we have met in person. I’m not saying that the people we met face to face were ugly, as a matter of fact they were all flippin’ HOT, but they all put more stock in each other‘s personalities then they did physical appearances.
The online “meat market” (as we like to call it) however, seems to have a completely different tone. More emphasis is put on appearances then personality, more about bodies then minds. While signing up for an online “dating site” one of the first things you’ll have to do is fill out a body type survey and we think that drives the focus of these sites. Most of the people we have talked to online have been more concerned about getting pictures of us then they are about getting to know us. We too like to have an idea of who we are talking to but some people can be down right ignorant. Saying things like:
“Send us pics then maybe we can get to know you.”
or
“We got your pics and are making our decision. We’ll email you our verdict.”
*actual emails received by The Wildcardz
Without even asking a person’s name or what they do for a living. That is one way to make people, who could have been good friends and playmates, feel like pieces of meat. Is it that difficult to be polite? If you want to know what a couple looks like, that’s fine, but PLEASE realize that there are people on the other end of that email who have feelings too. No one should use the anonymity of the internet as an excuse to be rude.
The internet should be a place where people of like minds can gather and get know each other (and share a virtual oreo) without prejudices. And in the case of swingers establish relationships where we can get together and have amazing sex. If you are a member of an online dating site Please think about the people you are emailing and their feelings before you click send.
Your cyber friends
The Wildcardz
“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength”
~Eric Hoffer
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Oh, WILDCARDZ, how differently we think.
While being friends is fine, really, I’m in the LS to have sex. I don’t need to know what you do for a living to fuck you. I need to know that I am attracted to you physically. If I can imagine having sex with you as I look at your pictures, then it’s worth my time (and yours) to grab a drink to see if there is chemistry. If not, then maybe in the future we’ll have a good conversation at a party and become friends.
The Internet is a screening tool to help us narrow our choices. Otherwise, the choices–and time required to make them–would be overwhelming and we’d just give up.
Wow! So glad you posted the above. You know, the Mr. and I have this saying…”just because we say HI, does not mean we want to f*#k”…I’m assuming I need to be nice on a swinger site and not type fuck…Ooops.. Anyway, my point was, we try to get to know people first and so many people do not reply to simple “hello” e-mails or they act “weird” when we do say hi and introduce ourselves. I think it’s because they assume that we want to rip their closes off and take them right there on the nearest table. In all honesty, we just are saying HI…wow, what a concept. Truth be told, we’re more attracted to people AFTER we get to know them, what they do, if they have kids, etc. Not all nice people photo well so we never assume based on profile pics, some look and are so much more fantastic in person. Anyways, thanks for the great post. I need to change my name to Gentle Nibbles & Company Comment Whore, cause that’s what I’m about to be. LOL.
That is too funny….
We, as well as a lot of couples when they were new, struggled with the whole interfacing thing due to the fact we assumed anything meant something.
I remember back how wierd we would be when couples said “hi” at a club thinking we needed to make up our minds that second about wether we would fuck (I gess it is ok since Mrs. Spectacular
did it – lol) them or not.
Now, we focus on just enjoying ourselves and partying with a bunch of sexy people and let the afterparty work its self out…..
Although, I do see Heather’s point because sometimes this indirect approach means we go home alone ;( Although Mrs. G is such an incredible fuck (Crap there I go again) that I have little complaints when this happens as well!
MrsSpectacularCpl, you are so damn HOT, we are honored to have you as our Company Comment Whore, so comment away sexy!
~Mr. Gentlenibbles
Hi Heather,
Thanks for the feedback. We can respect your opinion and are happy that that approach works for you. It’s just not how we like to handle our lifestyle experiences.
However, even though we have differing views on this topic I think we can both agree that rudeness no matter in person or online has no place in this lifestyle.
SpectacularCpl,
Glad you enjoyed the article. If you haven’t already take a look at some of our other work. You may enjoy it as well.
Mr GN,
A Pleasure as Always.
Sincerely yours,
The Wildcardz
@ Wildcardz: Yes, I agree that rudeness has no place in life at all. It’s easy to be nice. However, I don’t think asking to see your photos (esp face photos) is rude. That was more of my point.
Because I only play with people I am attracted to, and I am on lifestyle dating sites to hookup with playmates, I wouldn’t be offended by the emails you received. I would, however, be offended if the same emailers said to our faces, “You’re not attractive enough for me to have a conversation with.” That’s rude. “You’re not our type,” is perfectly legitimate and to be frank, appreciated. We have spent too much time and money “getting to know” couples date after date only to find that they were never interested in playing in the first place and didn’t know how to say no to us. Basically, we got led along.
We have plenty of friends who we don’t play with. Those people we’ve generally met at parties and had good conversations that led us to understand we had a lot in common, yet didn’t have sexual chemistry.
We recently had our first “lifestyle” experience. We were invited to a private getaway in the Tennessee mountains by some fantastic couples we had become friends with online. The whole experience was simply fantastic and without that ability to get to know them long before hand, I’m sure we would have chickened out and missed one of the best experiences of our lives.
Thanks Wildcardz!
It sounds like we missed out on some great times in Tennessee!!