Sorry Agent Your Cover Has Been Blown

Let me lay the scene for you.  You’re headed to a local swinger’s party.  You’ve prepped all week. Buying costumes, finding a sitter, booking your hotel room, and trimming all unnecessary body hair.  You don your trench coats and head to the party.  At the front desk you say your name to the hostess and are quickly interrupted by someone saying “Oh Shit!”  You look up and find that this last little exclamation of profanity was uttered by someone from your Vanilla (Re: Muggle) life.  You mentally reiterate the same exclamation.

Situations like this happen every day in the lifestyle and your reactions and how you handle it are going to be depending on you and your relationship with the person you run into.  The best we can do is tell you our story and offer some advice.  For us it happened almost exactly as we stated above however we did actually make it into the party before we noticed the other couple gesturing at us.

The first thing to remember in this situation is, and this is VERY IMPORTANT!, they are there for the same reasons you are.  They are not going to run home and tell everyone you know because then they’d have to explain why they themselves were at the party.

The second thing to remember is, you’ve been spotted.  No matter how quickly you grab your spouse and your coat and head towards the door you’ve already been caught.  You could ignore them, try and stay on the far side of the party, deny you were ever there, and never return to those parties but that’s too nerve racking and childish.

So what do you do?  Our recommendation, buy the first round.  At this point you probably need a drink and standing there gawking at each other is bound to draw some attention.  Also by buying the first round you show your “friends” that you are cool with the situation and that you would like to talk to them about it.

Here are a few topics we recommend you discuss once you have glasses in your hands.  How long you’ve been in the lifestyle; Starting off with this reminds everybody why they’re there and if one of the two couples is new it may lead to some good advice both about the lifestyle and how to keep the secrets in your specific vanilla life.

Another topic to bring up is other clubs or groups you are part of.  This can serve one of two purposes.  If this is a couple you wouldn’t mind seeing at parties then you can learn about other events from someone you probably already trust.  On the other hand if this is a couple you might need to avoid, personally I wouldn’t want to see my sister in a play room situation, you can split the parties so that everyone can have fun without worries of seeing things they might not appreciate.

And finally what muggles know that you are in the lifestyle.  Perhaps you have mutual friends who know you are in the lifestyle but don’t know about the other couple.  It’s good to compare notes here in case any of you need cover stories in the future or if you think someone is suspicious.

All in all, the worst thing you can do is freak out and cause a scene.  Approaching the situation calmly and openly could bring you all closer together and lead to a mutually beneficial vanilla-swinger crossover relationship.

~Wildcardz