Swinging and the Sanctuary – You’re Sharing Your Pews with Pervs
Growing up dead center in the Bible Belt, I had Moses’ twelve commandments memorized before the pledge of allegiance and had a much greater fear of damnation than any snakes, spiders, or dark closets.
Not only did I grow up somewhere between the “I” and the second “B” in the Bible Belt, but I grew up the son of enthusiastic Sunday School teachers in a Southern Baptist Church.
With an upbringing like this, I was pretty sure during my childhood years that the female members of the congegration did not remove their panties to pee much less engage in sexual debauchery with more than one person at a time.
Wow! If I had only known then what I know now, think of the fantasies I could have had during those long boring sermons as a young boy! Well…. that would be bad too, because I seem to remember masturbation being “of the devil” as well! 
Mrs. Gentlenibbles and I were blown away when we first started meeting couples in the Lifestyle at just how normal everyone is. People come from all walks of life, all ages, all forms of professions, and yes even all different types of religions. As a matter of fact, we find the percentage of people active in the church to be the same for our friends inside the Lifestyle as those on the out.
Not only do we find the numbers about the same, but of those “Swinger” friends we know who do go to church we find them no less active or passionate than our vanilla pew dwelling friends. To satisfy our curiosity, last week we introduced a new poll on Gentle Nibbles to get an idea of how active our readership was in the church. So far the numbers have been amazing.
Of all respondents only 18% are not religious whatsoever.
Also, of all respondents only 4% were not swingers.
That means 78% of our readers are swingers and do consider themselves spiritual or religious.
Here are some other interesting Statistics pulled from outside sources:
A study of pastors sponsored by Christianity Today found that 23% of 300 pastors admitted some form of sexually inappropriate behavior with someone other than their wives while in the ministry”
-Journal of Psychology & Christianity 8, no. 4 (Winter 1989)
Torn Asunder, Dave Carder, pg. 26
Durex’s Global Sex Survey has found that worldwide 22% of the population have had extramarital sex. (Keep in mind this includes many Muslim countries where the penalty is death by stoning)
-Durex. The Global Sex Survey 2005. Published online. (via -Wikipedia)
So I guess my ponderance boils down to this?
If religion and spirituality is so popular among Swingers, adultery is so prevalent within the church, and extramarital sex so popular worldwide, then why exactly is there a need for Mrs. Gentlenibbles and I to publish this blog about swinging under aliases versus our real names? ….other than the fact “Gentle Nibbles” is so much more catching!
As swingers Mrs. Gentlenibbles and I don’t consider our actions adultery. Our experiences are open, honest, and for the full enjoyment and benefit of each other.
What are your thoughts on this? Also, make sure and vote in the poll below.
Loading ...Here is another post we wrote about Adultery versus Swinging.
~Mr. Gentlenibbles
great article as usual, you guys always have intresting stuff. very enjoyable…and catching names are always better i think. could not resist the last option so had to vote like that.
Thanks guys! Well, if we are going to hell as the poll suggests atleast it appears we will be joined by lots of hotties!
I’ve had some internal conflict with this subject myself. We are swingers of sort, more in the hotwifing category and have been for 2 years now. We went to church regularly before then, but not so much since. Eventhough I fully believe in spirituality and God and hell and the bible, I kinda feel like I’ll burst into flames if I walk into a church for all the wicked things I’ve done and still continue to do. And I keep thinking I should stop and repent and walk the straight and narrow from now on, but I don’t. I enjoy what I do. Is it better to be a hypocrite and going to church and talking the talk, but not walking the walk or to believe and continue on as we have been?
Hey J,
I can’t help you with that one! At some point you need to reconcile your beliefs with your actions or it will only lead to trouble!
I am not implying that you need to quit the LIfestyle, but just be at peace with it and enjoy it, or choose to leave it behind.
Good Luck!
I only know of 10 camanments, What are the other 2?
Hi M/Ms Nibbles. We are relatively new to this site and found this area of the CT and do enjoy your input. Knowing that we relate to the “Bible belt” deep south upbringing/ mind set…….just one question…in the marriage vows, “to forsake all others, ’till death do you part”………..please help us, if you can, clarify where and what catagory that would fall under in the “Lifestyle” of swinging? We agree with your statement that it is open, honest and about pleaseing each other. But this statement has come up for discussion with others in the lifestyle and we would like to see what your opinion is on concerning it.
Thanks for starting this thread/blog/discussion.
S & S
hotharleychick23,
We were very lucky in the fact that at the ages of 19 and 20 we were forward thinking enough to include in our vows right after the “forsake all others” the following line…
“except when f*cking, blowing, sucking, licking, or kissing during swinging scenarios”
OK just kidding….
To be honest we have not really thought about it like that. First you have to realize that as we have grown up from those kids sixteen years ago we are not the same. Religion plays a much smaller role in our life and the concept of a “vow before God” does not really intimidate us.
We don’t feel our vows are forged in repeating some words a pastor got out of marriage handbook. After sixteen years, what cements us are the experiences, creations, and life events that we have enjoyed and endured together for so many years.
We have shared the births of two awesome children, the devistating miscarriage of a third. We have not experienced a new city, state, or country without the companion of each other in more than sixteen years. We have buried grandparents, parents, and friends and have played nurse to each other no matter how gross the task after various surgeries and sickness throughout our life together. These are the tools of our promises to each other.
I am not sure I answered your question as far as how to reconcile this vow with your lifestyle activities. Although, I think swingers are probably honoring these vows with their honesty and openess more closely than those millions of couples with hidden stashes of porn and multitudes of secrets.
Hope this helps!
Mr. G
Hey,
I just wanted to say. Your questions got me thinking enough I wanted to get other peoples opinions on it so I created a new post see below:
http://www.gentlenibbles.com/2010/04/24/forsake-all-others-oh-crap/
Mr. G
Thanks for your “wit” and down to earth realistic post. We are very interested in seeing whether others will comment. There are so many profiles that the first sentence is “we are HAPPILY MARRIED AND SECURE IN EACH OTHER” & “we are here to spice up our already great sex life” (then they state how many years they have been together).
In this day and age, there are so many divorces after 30 + years of so called “bliss”..(in and out of lifestyle marriages)….so having this “secure” and “we grew up together” and have been thru “hell and back and then half of Georgia” is not an option.
You and Ms. Gentlenibbles have been given a rare gift of each other!
S & S
WE so agree!!! hidden stashes of pron or( anything else) is sooooo ridiculious! ” Be open honest and share!!!!” should be made into a flag! poster! bumper sticker! button! Be in it TOGETHER or don’t be in it at all! We call those “religious or not” types Sneaky Petes and most definitely are headed for disasterious waters.
S & S