Out of My League – A Male’s Perspective on Taking One for the Team

I have been doing something right to please the “not so” proverbial swinging gods.  I say this because somehow I occassionally end up with a very sexy woman in my bed that is completely “out of my league.” 

Please don’t get me wrong.  I don’t know of a couple we have been with where I did not find the woman sexy as hell, but occasionally I look down and think to myself  ”Holy Sh*t”! 

You should realize a few things about me.  First, I consider myself an attractive guy with an awesome personality.  Second, I realize there is plenty of room for improvement.  Third, and most importantly I somehow landed the sexiest woman in the world as my wife! I was able to do this because I got her to fall in love with me way back when she and I were just teenagers and she did not realize just how truly amazing she was!

This dichotomy of appearance sometimes puts me into situations where I find myself with extremely beautiful women.  In these situations a couple of scenarios can happen one “good” and one “not so good.” 

I will start with the “not so good”, which unfortunately seems to happen more than the good. 

All of my life, I have had an impeccable ability to read people.  Enough so that my wife and I often make a game of just trying to see if I am wrong about people in situations.  Unfortunately, this ability makes it very easy for me to expose a lack of interest in a play partner.

Some couples in the Lifestyle do occasionally let one of the couple “take one for the team,”  and consequently I am quite sure I have been this not so special “one” on an occasion or two since entering the Lifestyle.  

 Most males in non-relational sex typically would not care if they felt their partner was not interested.  Sure they would like it better if they were, but will be able to enjoy it all the same without the attraction.  If you ladies doubt this phenomenon, you merely need to look at the ubiquitousness of strip clubs, one night stands, and prostitution to get a full glimpse of the male psyche on this matter.

Unfortunately, it does bother me if I find a potential partner completely uninterested.  Don’t get me wrong I am not seeking a relationship by any means, but I feel very uncomfortable having sex with a woman who I perceive would rather not be in the situation.  It just seems to border a little to close to “rape” to me.  I recognize she may have given consent and is participating, but if she has done all that just because her husband is really interested in Mrs. Gentlenibbles, then I still feel it would be wrong for me to take advantage of her.

Yes, I recognize I am a swinger and this is just sex we are talking about, but even as a swinger I think a woman’s body and her sexual intimacy are still very special things that should not be dealt with lightly.

As far as how these scenarios play out, it is usually bad.  Just imagine a woman that is not interested and a man worried about violating her….  Needless to say “Chemistry” goes out the window very quickly.  Due to this, Mrs. Gentlenibbles and I both try to recognize these scenarios quickly and work on getting out of them as soon as possible.

Sometimes really “good” things happen.

As I mentioned earlier, just because a woman is amazingly beautiful does not mean she cannot be attracted to me, nor that we are guaranteed to have a bad time!  On the contrary, in quite a few scenarios where I have found myself playing with a goddess totally “out of my league,” both her and I have had incredible experiences.

I tend to be a little self-deprecating, so I am probably not as bad as I describe, and I do have a humorous personality that some ladies find very attractive.   Combined, these traits are often enough to inspire some attraction among my play partners.  And just as I am able to sniff out “disinterest” I am equally capable of sniffing out “interest” as well.  There are few things more sexually exciting in the world than watching an immensely beautiful woman enjoying you!

Usually these scenarios make for extremely satisfying sexual play.  When I am playing with a partner who I am extremely attracted to, the sex usually becomes very little about pleasing me.  All of my energy is naturally placed into enjoying this person and the moment I have in front of me. 

If they allow,  I will rub, massage, nibble, and kiss all over their entire body for hours before ever expecting a thing!  Not because I am trying to be a good lover, but because I am selfishly enjoying an experience I know that I am lucky to be a part of. 

For those who don’t know me, I hope my descriptions above don’t have you convinced that I resemble Shrek or the creature from Goonies.   It is just that next to a bright white light like Mrs. Gentlenibbles, everything else in the world can’t help but look a little gray!

The point of this article is this - no matter how sexy you and your partner are, in the Lifestyle there will be times when meeting other couples that for some reason the chemistry between two of you may not be there.  In these times slow down, communicate, and make the best decision for both of you! 

In closing I will leave you with those inspriring words of the famous Swinger “Shrek”
“That’ll do. Donkey. That’ll do.”

~Mr. Gentlenibbles