Masturbate Your Way to a Better Marriage – Swingers Tip Number Two

A couple of weeks ago we posted our first Swingers Tip as we began a series of articles concerning what lessons vanilla couples could learn from swinging couples to improve their marriage. The article entitled “What if Ward and June Cleaver Were Swingers – Honesty” can be found here.

What if I was to tell you the Number One thing any stable married couple could do to really heat up the sheets and improve their sex life would be to masturbate.  Yep, the oh so delightfully selfish act of sexually gratifying oneself can do amazing things for a marriage with a stale sex life.

Guys, I am quite aware that you are chuckling to yourself right now as statistics tell us that most of you have masturbated in the last twenty four hours.  Please don’t rush to judgement and let me expound a moment on a couple of ways masturbation can improve your marriage.

Before we begin.

Get over any qualms you may have with morality or “normalness” of self love, hand to gland combat, choking the chicken, jerking the gerkin, five knuckle shuffle, beating the bishop, spanking the monkey, or whatever you want to call it.  The vast majority of people in this world do it.  As a matter of fact, statistically speaking, studies have shown that the number of people who do not masturbate is roughly equal to the number of people who avoid the Internet. 

Now that we have that out of the way let’s begin.

First,

If you do not masturbate frequently, try masturbating a little more often.  Many couples in sexually stale marriages where sex becomes less vigorous and frequent find themselves over a period of time becoming less interested in sex altogether.  While this tends to happen much more often in women, it happens to men as well.  Whatever the reason or cause may be, it is not conducive in the long term to the overall health of the marriage.

One way to reignite one’s sexual spark is a great orgasm.  The more of those great orgasms you have the more likely your inner horny self is going to reappear.  As a couple, I challenge you to 30 days of Masturbation.  For 30 days in a row each of you take time to masturbate at least once a day.  

Secondly,

Both of you use the thirty days to truly master your domain and  take your masturbation to a new level.  I want you to explore yourself both physically and mentally.  Take a warm bath, drink a glass of wine, and then lock yourself alone in a room for about an hour.  The bath and wine have nothing to do with any weird self romance, but merely function to help you relax and release your inhibitions. 

Once you are sufficiently relaxed, start to slowly and methodically explore yourself.  Don’t go straight to your hot spot, instead spend some time exploring areas you typically overlook when masturbating or having sex.  Who knows you may just find you get sexually stimulated when rubbing the back of your knee.  Highly unlikely, but possible I suppose.

Many people, especially women, may be married and sexually active for years yet never find those areas or activities that their body or mind really responds to.  They just do it like they have always done it. 

Once you have the physical figured out, explore some fantasies in your mind.  While caressing yourself go through the sexual Rolodex in your memories picking out your hottest sexual moments and focusing on them.  During the afterglow, think about what was so special and exciting about that particular fantasy.

Focus on releasing all your inhibitions and mentally exploring sexual scenarios and practices you may typically think to be taboo.  While it may be a little awkward at first, just consider it a science experiment and give it a try.  Something you may have always shunned or thought to be a little weird may actually make your list of things sexually exciting to you.  As long as it is legal and healthy, knowing what turns you on and off is very important to happy and healthy sex.

These practices will improve your overall sexual knowledge of yourself, and if you really want to have better sex with your partner you should take the time to learn just what “better sex” means to you.

Lastly…

This is a big one and may be tough for some of you.  Masturbate with your spouse.   Yes you heard me.  Take off all of your clothes and “rub one out!” while on display to the person you have chosen to share everything with.   This is not mutual masturbation where you both are involved.  I mean one of you watches and the other one masturbates and then switch roles.  To make this even better, while masturbating tell your partner what you are fantasizing about.

This is an amazing relationship building exercise that helps to break down sexual inhibitions and force you into a vulnerable position with your partner.  Deliberate vulnerability in a relationship breeds honesty and understanding.  Two qualities all successful marriages have.

But the real benefit of this exercise can be gained by the one watching, not the one masturbating.  The voyeur should focus on what his/her partner is doing and listen to what they are saying.  Where and how do they touch themselves in the beginning?  What is the pace or pressure they are using?  What are they touching, gripping, squeezing, rubbing, or screaming while they orgasm?  It is not only an amazing sexual experience to watch your partner have an orgasm, but you can learn an incredible amount about them at the same time.

The exception.

There is one caveat to all of this.  If you are currently not sexually satisfied in your relationship, but you masturbate very frequently then please ignore all of the above.  I want you to stop masturbating.  Your 30 day challenge is instead to purposefully do something to make your partner feel sexy and loved once a day!

Imagine what the sexual enegry will be like after you have spent 30 days of  lovingly making your partner feel sexy and focusing your sexual energies towards them while they have spent those same 30 days reawakening their sexuality. 

This 30 day challenge my friends is a recipe for some “HOLY CRAP” sexual moments! 

…singing softly to himself, “When I think about you I touch myself!”

~Mr. Gentlenibbles out!
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