The Twenty Percent Rule

I received an email from some friends of ours in the Lifestyle the other day. The email, in response to one of our posts mentioned a rule they have that I think a lot of new swinger couples would benefit from knowing and putting into place in their swinging repertoire.

The rule is quite simple. Both spouses should always ensure that in any swinging situation they pay at least twenty percent more attention to their spouse than anyone else! It is amazing how many new couples who have never had jealousy issues before can run into some problems during their first few experiences. When examined more closely, most often the source of the jealousy is not the fact the spouse is with someone else, but the fact their partner feels alienated or left out of the experience. Read more

A Few Simple Questions - Ask Yourselves the Five W’s

If you are new to swinging and looking for information the most common advice you will get from seasoned veterans as well as other newbies is talk, talk, talk. On occasion the advisor will give you a suggestion of one or two topics to discuss with your partner. However in our experience no two couples have suggested the same topics.

So what should there be a swinger checklist? “If you can answer these questions correctly then you can be a swinger.” The thought is almost laughable. Just like no two couples suggest the same discussion topics no two couples swing the same way or have the same guidelines. Because as Dossie and Catherine say in “The Ethical Slut” No two relationships are the same. Read more

Six Things Your Mother Taught You About Swinging!

Listening to the advice your parents gave you growing up, could really help you as a swinger.  Whether we liked it or not, is was good advice for getting us through life then and is still good advice for getting us through the lifestyle now!  Let’s look at some of that great advice dear old Mommy gave us about swinging!

Go ask your Father! 
How many times did we hear this reply when asking Mom for permission to go somewhere or have a friend over.  Mom and Dad understood the importance of including each other to make good decisions regarding you and your safety.  This connectivity in decision making is absolutely critical for you now in making good quality decsions about your activities in the lifestyle.  If at any point one of you begins controlling your experiences and boundaries you are destined for trouble.  Before making any decision, no matter how large or small, you should ensure you both have discussed and are comfortable with exactly what each other wants.  This is extremly important when you are new and still learning this side of each other.  

Your not going out dressed like that…. are you?
First impressions are extremely important in the lifestyle.  If you want to find couples to play with, you should always represent yourself in the best light possible.  This means spend some time and care in taking pictures for your online profiles.  Don’t just throw up some pics you happen to have saved on a hard drive somewhere, but set up a homemade photo shoot and get some Read more