Drama: The Art of Making Sexy Time Not So Sexy!

In the Lifestyle, unlike the vanilla world the big “D” word is not Divorce, but rather Drama!  Drama is defined by Merriam Webster as:

a state, situation, or series of events involving interesting or intense conflict of forces

There is nothing worse than witnessing an “intense conflict of forces” while standing around with your underwear or panties at your ankles watching all eroticism flee the room!  As one navigates this incredibly fun Lifestyle highway, they will find themselves in somewhat exposed situations from time to time.  Read more

Full Swap versus Soft Swap

A famous writer once penned these famous words that would survive the test of history,

“To penetrate or not to penetrate, that is the question.”

…or something like that.  There is a really good chance that within the first seventeen and one third minutes of entering the lifestyle you encountered the question.  Are we “full swap” or “soft swap”?  Most “newbies” find themselves saying, “I am still a “pre-swap”, what the hell is “full swap” or “soft swap”.  Fortunately, “soft swap” has nothing to do with wearing fuzzy bunny costumes while engaging in sexual activities.  (Apologies to all you “furry” sex aficionados out there)

So what exactly is “full swap” and “soft swap” and what do I need to know about them.  These are terms that describe the level of play you are comfortable performing with another couple.  These are are actually just two of the six different “labels” couples use to describe themselves.  The six of them are: (I am putting a guess of the percentage of lifestylers in each group to give you an idea of what is out there)

• Voyeurs-(less than 1%)  This describes a couple who receives sexual gratification from watching other people have sex.  They are not interested in being involved, but just to watch.  There are very few couples that consider themselves purely voyeurs, but we have met one or two.  Due to the fact it is going to be tough to find a couple that is going to invite you over just like to watch, be patient if this is what you are into.  All lifestylers are voyeurs to differing extents by definition, but only a few limit themselves to this activity.

• Exhibitionists - (Less than 1%)  Exhibitionists are couples who find their fantasies leading them to exposing themselves and/or performing sexual acts in front of an audience.  Once again, we are all exhibitionists of some degree, but most of us do not  Read more

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  Table of contents for New Swingers Guides

  1. New Swingers Guide: Part One
  2. New Swingers Guide: Part Two
  3. New Swingers Guide: Part Three
  4. Swinger Dictionary
  5. The “Laws of Physics” as They Pertain to Swinging
  6. Full Swap versus Soft Swap

  

  Filed Under: Lifestyle, New Swinger Advice, Sex Discussion and Stories
  Tagged: Full Swap, Lifestyle, New Swinger Advice, New Swingers, Sex Discussion and Stories, Soft Swap, Swinger, Swinger Advice, Swinging Advice, Swingingguides

  The “Laws of Physics” as They Pertain to Swinging

  December 6, 2007 by Mr. GentleNibbles · Leave a Comment 

  In a recent post, I jokingly made a reference to the “Laws of Physics of Swinging” in an attempt to point out one of the common small misconceptions new swingers sometimes have.  For many beginners in the lifestyle, the first few months are full of learning lingo, gaining confidence, but mostly getting comfortable in how to behave in these totally new scenarios.  There are not many life experiences that prepare a person for having a “normal” conversation with a person while actively discussing the possibility of having some type of sexual interaction with their spouse.

  My entire life, I have had very little trouble talking to people.  I have a knack for entertaining people and making them laugh, but the night my wife and I decided to go a little further than flirting with another couple I might has well have been a mute.   We had been flirting with the couple most of the night, the chemistry was definitely there, and Mrs. Gentlenibbles and I decided this was the night.  The next thing I know the best conversation I could muster, was weather comments, sports scores, and the occasional “yeah, cool”.  Just like a man, who finds himself suddenly blindfolded, would have a few worries about taking off into a full sprint, my awareness of this brand new situation robbed me of my confidence.  Without this confidence, intelligent conversation much less humor, became much more difficult to deliver. 

  We had taken time research and layout all the major ground rules of what was taking place, but we never addressed the small stuff.  Mrs. Gentlenibbles and myself slowly over a period of months started figuring the allowable behaviors, social faux paux,  and etiquette of our new world.  With each morsel of knowledge we gained, we became more comfortable and ultimately had more fun.  So in an effort to speed up the process of your journey to “comfortable” swinger we would like to share some of these tidbits with you.   Read more

  Previous in series Next in series

  Table of contents for New Swingers Guides

  1. New Swingers Guide: Part One
  2. New Swingers Guide: Part Two
  3. New Swingers Guide: Part Three
  4. Swinger Dictionary
  5. The “Laws of Physics” as They Pertain to Swinging
  6. Full Swap versus Soft Swap

  

  Filed Under: New Swinger Advice
  Tagged: New Swingers, Swinger, Swinger Advice, Swinging, Swingingguides

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